killing academia

a really big reason that i'm so bad at 'normal' school is how bad i am at writing. it's not like journal writing but in a formal setting. i have trouble thinking of words and full sentences when it comes to putting down words. my teacher says i'm very articulate in class discussion and she can't understand why i do so badly in written tests and exams... sometimes i don't write anything at all and i give up and just start drawing. i don't really understand either. i can talk a LOT but when it comes to writing or typing there's gaps in my thinking. it kind of feels like alphabet soup. the letters and words are floating around but i can't really figure out why i'm thinking them and what point i'm trying to make. it might be brain fog but one caveat is that it's supposed to be equally bad for your speech AND your reading/writing since it's all language.... but writing is the only one i struggle really badly with. which is weird because, as i said, it's all language isn't it? i don't know if it's an actual condition thats causing this but its really frustrating.

on other things. today i went to hallozeen, a zine fair, with my mum. it was really cool. i was too shy to talk to a lot of people but the atmosphere was quite lively. i bought lots of stuff, i wasn't there for long even though it was like a 40-minute car ride. after i had a late lunch (by late i mean like 3.30pm lol) of noodles and i had hawthorn tanghulu!!! i love it so much but it's a bit expensive. there's only one place in my area that makes it so there isn't other alternatives. I would make it myself; i mostly know how. I've done other fruit tanghulu before so i know how to cook the sugar and stuff. only problem is it seems like the hawthorn is soaked/cooked or something and i don't know with what.

goodnight!